My name is Ruth, and this is my testimonial.
After exposing my fears to you yesterday, you gathered around me like midwives around a woman in labor. My presentation this morning was short, more like 15 minutes than the allotted 5. (They told me to take all the time I needed.) It was not an important presentation in the grand scheme. It was an update, just informational, not meant to be inspirational or profound. But it weighed on me, and so I told you about it. Here are the things I have to say to you:
I was the cornstalk. What I mean is, I visualized the stillness of the broom corn in yesterday's photo as I went in and hung up my coat and laid out my handouts. I didn't take coffee or fruit until after I was done. (I got to present first, isn't that great! I got it over with and then could relax.) Being the cornstalk, I was still and didn't rush. This is the most important lesson I learned from the broom corn: DON'T RUSH.
What strikes me now, and did as I left the meeting, walked to my car with my box of handouts, buckled my seatbelt and drove across campus to my office, is that this here blog world is real and precious. I went from an anxious, jittery woman yesterday (and many days previously) to a Zen cat, like my Bishop in the photo here. See how she observes and takes in the world. She squirms around in leaves. She stalks her prey and takes her sweet time. She lies under the broom corn and lets me take her picture. You all helped me get there, you commenters and well wishers. I took up the fibers of your offerings and wrapped myself in them, like a mantle.
I was relaxed. I made them laugh. I covered everything (without notes!). And here's the other thing I thought of about the people in the audience I was to address, while getting ready this morning at home: Like them, love them, believe in them. I did, and I think they felt it. I know I did.
Thank you. I feel incredibly moved at how I was transformed, with your help. I will not forget this the next time I am afraid or anxious.