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These orphaned robin's eggs that Don found on the ground while he mowed around the spruce tree are normal in the earth's economy. If everything survived, the world would be overrun. Yet I tend to side with the prey, not the bluejay who knocked the nest out of the tree while he raided and stole eggs. There is a mothering instinct in me that wants the defenseless to be protected, and survive.
It's Father's Day in the U.S., and I am feeling grateful that my husband and father of my two children agreed with Goethe: "There are two things children should get from their parents: roots and wings." I work with college students, and I witness the growing trend of "Velcro" parents to stay involved in the daily (or hourly) comings, goings, successes and failings of their college children. Truth is that the kids are half of that sticky Velcro and seem to want to be in touch many times a day by text. The roots are strong, the wings not so much. (I couldn't wait to be off on my own.)
There is a fantastic article about breaking up with parents written by Terry Castle, the literary critic and professor at Stanford (Susan Sontag called her the most expressive literary critic alive today). I felt something shift when I read it. She uses literary orphans to demonstrate how strong and resilient humans become when they are forced to survive on their own (so many! "Witness Little Goody Two-Shoes, Pollyanna, Heidi, Little Orphan Annie, Kim, Mowgli, Bilbo, Frodo, Anne (of Green Gables), Dorothy (she of Toto and Auntie Em), Peter (as in Pan), Harry (as in Potter)". The article is "The Case for Breaking Up with Your Parents" in the Chronicle of Higher Education. It is long. It is excellent.
Of course we live in times of economic hardship, and some of our adult kids have to live with us now and then until they catch a break. The real point of the article is that we must raise children to think for themselves. Imagine a society of independently thinking people.
Happy Father's Day!
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