Friday, December 08, 2006


Thanks to this Presence Process life continues to be interesting.

This is week 4, the week we look at pain in our life without covering it up. Physical, emotional or mental pain.

Yesterday was a doozy.

The whole day I had a splitting headache. I rarely have headaches, but when I do, I take an ibuprofen or two, and that takes care of it. In The Presence Process Michael Brown encourages us not to cover up any pain this week, but to focus on it and see it as a messenger, a friend. I obeyed, and without ibuprofen, it was a challenge to get through a day meeting with students and answering emails.

After Don left for work in the morning yesterday, I looked for my car keys for 30 minutes, including through the trash (coffee grounds and all). Nowhere. Where could I have put them? Thankfully Lesley’s car is in the garage, so Don called and re-insured it for the day, and I drove it in to work. Guess what, Don found my keys in his coat pocket at school and doesn’t even recall putting them there.

One more anomalous thing happened yesterday. Online I had ordered wild caught salmon from Alaska night before last. I always order 8 pounds in order to get free shipping. Got an email confirmation yesterday that I had ordered just one pound, and the shipping was $20. I paid far more for shipping than for the salmon. I called Alaska, and it was too late to change the order, it had been shipped!

The amazing thing yesterday is that I did not get upset about any of it. (Maybe my head hurt too much to get upset.) I don’t pat myself on the back. But I feel grateful to teachers like Michael Brown who are sharing what has worked for them to become more present.

I may get upset about something today. I don’t know. But I can feel the habit of responding and not reacting starting to take hold.

Here's a quote from Viktor Frankl: "What is to give light must endure burning."


Amy said...

I appreciate all that you said here, Ruth, and I'm impressed with the transformation that you feel working within you. Great photos as well -- those are yours, I assume?

merlinprincesse said...

Being a better self is not easy... Thanks for sharing all those feelings with us. I am sure it helps lots of people! :)

Ruth said...

Amy, thank you, and yes, I took them the last full moon (the 4th, was it?) on the way to work in the morning.

MP, Thank you for your comment. I always second guess being this open, but why not? It's what is happening for me, and if it gives anyone even a glimmer of truth for themselves, then it's worth sharing.

Ginnie said...

Wow, Ruth. We learn from each other when we are vulnerable. Thank you, as always.

I love your full-moon pics and the subtle colors of the sky, like a watercolor painting.

Ruth said...

Ginnie, thank you. It's true we learn from each other. It's an exchange.

thehealingroom said...

Hi Ruth,
I'm starting week 8 tommorrow. I am very glad that I found this tool.

I am very impressed with your perservance through a headache.
I have been very challenged when it comes to headaches and have not been able to resist covering them up some of the time....but with it I bring the awareness that I am covering it up! So I am still learning and "working" with it.

Ruth said...

THR (Jennie), my headache was not a migraine. If you can't function with a headache, it seems that sometimes you need to cover it up. I was grateful that mine wasn't so bad that I had to stop working. I have to say that something really clicked after that day of not taking a pain killer. Now, when a pain arises, I seriously do not look at it as an enemy! I think that is the most transformative thing that happened this week. Now I ask, what am I supposed to pay attention to through this?

Two more weeks to go for you, yes? Do you think you'll start over and do it again?

lesleyanne said...

it's so wonderful what you're doing. i am so proud of you, and so thankful that i have you in my life. you are my teacher.

ps....i love everyone's tree icons!

Ruth said...

Sweet girl, thank you for that. We teach each other.

Jennifer said...

Yes Ruth!
I am already on planning on doing it again. But it is a process, so I can't say for sure.

Ruth said...

Jennifer, that makes sense.

rachel said...

Beautiful, breathtaking entry. So much happens to us within a day. How fortunate we are that sleep wipes the slate clean each night so that we can wake up excited to try again and again!

Ruth said...

Rachel, thank you for that image. There is a lightness in what you say, and forgiveness. We take ourselves far too seriously at times.