tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21312708.post5480200442096384623..comments2023-12-27T22:26:20.552-05:00Comments on synch-ro-ni-zing: concrete poem, and alternate traditional form: family treeRuthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14204074161539605133noreply@blogger.comBlogger41125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21312708.post-43133203037962459832011-11-26T20:38:28.954-05:002011-11-26T20:38:28.954-05:00What would it be like to read such a loving poem f...What would it be like to read such a loving poem from a grandmother? This child will be able to see love beyond a mother's fork - the grand crook of the maternal crook.amy@ Souldipperhttp://souldipper.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21312708.post-8452431903667445942011-11-23T09:11:48.790-05:002011-11-23T09:11:48.790-05:00As pal Rilke said in his Sonnets: "Be the cry...As pal Rilke said in his Sonnets: "Be the crystal cup that shattered even as it rung." You did here ... BBrendanhttp://blueoran.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21312708.post-58703287683347678542011-11-22T08:03:47.902-05:002011-11-22T08:03:47.902-05:00it is a wonderful poem regardless of shape--I did ...it is a wonderful poem regardless of shape--I did find the tree shape very cool and felt it added to the imagery..C.M. Jacksonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06936560662110633442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21312708.post-73084669875644749462011-11-22T03:42:43.698-05:002011-11-22T03:42:43.698-05:00Brendan, I thank you for your feedback after the f...<b>Brendan</b>, I thank you for your feedback after the fact, and once again for encouraging me to drop the "goblet" shape and break it. :-)Ruthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14204074161539605133noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21312708.post-15459107221946706502011-11-21T11:03:09.202-05:002011-11-21T11:03:09.202-05:00Fun to try the tree shape, I know, but how your wo...Fun to try the tree shape, I know, but how your words grow up and down and out when they're free to flow in lines like breath. The lack of punctuation and capitalization (except for the "I" makes the reading an instantaneous thing. Wonderful. - BrendanBrendanhttp://blueoran.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21312708.post-47509175306744491632011-11-21T05:50:55.581-05:002011-11-21T05:50:55.581-05:00Boots, you've been through this, and you know ...<b>Boots</b>, you've been through this, and you know the power of the cycle of family. Thank you.Ruthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14204074161539605133noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21312708.post-67091510646888362492011-11-21T05:50:10.185-05:002011-11-21T05:50:10.185-05:00Marcie, thank you for reading my tree, and for you...<b>Marcie</b>, thank you for reading my tree, and for your very kind feedback.Ruthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14204074161539605133noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21312708.post-23551182323324560962011-11-21T05:49:42.588-05:002011-11-21T05:49:42.588-05:00Oliag, yes, he is really some force of nature. Tha...<b>Oliag</b>, yes, he is really some force of nature. Thank you, my friend.Ruthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14204074161539605133noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21312708.post-74893280838329206032011-11-21T05:49:09.750-05:002011-11-21T05:49:09.750-05:00Pat, thank you for your enthusiasm, you're so ...<b>Pat</b>, thank you for your enthusiasm, you're so kind!Ruthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14204074161539605133noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21312708.post-45432904201415670592011-11-21T05:48:48.591-05:002011-11-21T05:48:48.591-05:00MJ, oh thanks so much. Funny how I feel relieved a...<b>MJ</b>, oh thanks so much. Funny how I feel relieved after releasing the poem from the tree form. I'm glad you agree.Ruthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14204074161539605133noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21312708.post-70744909234886153222011-11-21T03:36:44.077-05:002011-11-21T03:36:44.077-05:00Mom, Dad, Bennett...and Poppy Seed. In this Concr...Mom, Dad, Bennett...and Poppy Seed. In this Concrete format, Sister, I can't imagine a better telling of the Family Tree.Ginnie Harthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14014434422568561157noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21312708.post-53538301519244318492011-11-20T20:12:13.967-05:002011-11-20T20:12:13.967-05:00Love the concrete format. It really adds to the po...Love the concrete format. It really adds to the poetry..tells more and more of the story. And - what powerful poetry it is!Marciehttp://www.marciescudderphotography.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21312708.post-51926484660422005362011-11-20T18:37:28.232-05:002011-11-20T18:37:28.232-05:00I love this poem in both of its forms...The new li...I love this poem in both of its forms...The new life coming your way is certainly your muse...GailOhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09556665956317683667noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21312708.post-20395669868937092132011-11-20T14:42:00.750-05:002011-11-20T14:42:00.750-05:00I love the visual image the typed words portray an...I love the visual image the typed words portray and the image the written words evoke. What beautiful words, Ruth. What a gift you have!Pathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17756564685282866773noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21312708.post-20182554435535190432011-11-20T13:33:18.270-05:002011-11-20T13:33:18.270-05:00Wow.
The way this ended floored me.
You were able ...Wow.<br />The way this ended floored me.<br />You were able to effortlessly sustain the running commentary of your thoughts with the construct of the family tree without it ever feeling forced.<br />Losing the shape was a good thing, I must agree. The concrete form here only served as a distraction to what your words formed on their own.<br />Awesome poem, Ruth.Miss Janehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13659603837343456631noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21312708.post-47351793513131538532011-11-20T08:25:14.983-05:002011-11-20T08:25:14.983-05:00So glad, Robert! Thank you for "workshopping&...So glad, <b>Robert</b>! Thank you for "workshopping" with me, along with Brendan, and for your enthusiasms. (I like that <i>hubbled</i> myself, which was a result of watching "Tree of Life" and what I assume were Hubble images of the cosmos.)Ruthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14204074161539605133noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21312708.post-83711455719693557882011-11-20T08:17:04.824-05:002011-11-20T08:17:04.824-05:00Oh, I do so much prefer your amended version, Ruth...Oh, I do so much prefer your amended version, Ruth - without the formal wine-glass distraction. I agree with Brendan. It didn't need that shapely conceit. For it stands just as it is: a marvellous poem. Love that 'hubbled'! And the bookended cows/calves. Well, I like the whole thing. Very much.The Solitary Walkerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11284354541952038339noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21312708.post-78608384229309234352011-11-20T07:43:04.297-05:002011-11-20T07:43:04.297-05:00Brendan, et al, I've added a traditional form ...<b>Brendan, et al</b>, I've added a traditional form of the poem, and I like it better. I welcome any feedback.Ruthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14204074161539605133noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21312708.post-51347100597377897862011-11-20T07:18:27.960-05:002011-11-20T07:18:27.960-05:00Brendan, I appreciate your honesty about the shape...<b>Brendan</b>, I appreciate your honesty about the shape, and it reflects my own feeling too. It might even be a distraction from what was a profound experience for me in the car with baby boy, and my brother. So I am grateful for your deeper look into what is here, very grateful. <br /><br />I love science, especially physics, even though I am not versed in it. I took one class in college, which was enough to fall in love with its history, from the ether (can't you see us joining those early speculators about the nature of the cosmos?) to present-day neutrinos. I don't have to understand the mysteries, none of us does (as Moore said, the soul likes to be surprised). It is enough, for me, to look, observe and express what I see about the ways these particulars of life touch the bigger mysteries, though I'm happy that scientists are doing their work. <br /><br />Abundant thanks.Ruthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14204074161539605133noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21312708.post-7029294139660691072011-11-20T06:52:35.113-05:002011-11-20T06:52:35.113-05:00I'm sure the shape experiment was fun to try o...I'm sure the shape experiment was fun to try out but I didn't see it add much to the excellence of the poem, which stood so well on its own (so why do we always add pictures to posts with poetry, when they never would appear in a book of poems?) You know where my sympathies flow in this poem. Isn't it Rilke who spoke of Eurydice being so new in death that she found existence there so strange, even though the touch of her rescuing lover Orpheus was even more hurtful? I think of neutrinos passing through the earth, through us, all time when I see that mote hanging ghostly in the air next to you, the brother of self and fate and history. And when I read of "invisible galaxies" comprised of dark matter ever weaving through our own galaxy, weaving through our own hearts, those ghostly voices and presence have a concrete shape, sort of, as if the pre-Christian idea of the Otherworld being a widdershins turn of perspective to our own, then our dead are always with us. All of the associations ring so true here. - BrendanBrendanhttp://blueoran.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21312708.post-91029197485407857392011-11-20T05:14:25.318-05:002011-11-20T05:14:25.318-05:00Vagabonde, thank you for such kind things said. O...<b>Vagabonde</b>, thank you for such kind things said. Of course we do different things in our blogs, and thankfully so. What you do with your travels and research is inspiring to me; I talk about you all the time, to Don and others. In fact I was thinking of you just at lunch with my boss this week, because he is now single and wants to travel abroad more. I told him it will be an adventure! And I almost said "like it is for my friend Vagabonde . . . "Ruthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14204074161539605133noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21312708.post-86769793440880599462011-11-20T05:11:06.311-05:002011-11-20T05:11:06.311-05:00Reena, that's lovely, thank you.<b>Reena</b>, that's lovely, thank you.Ruthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14204074161539605133noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21312708.post-5629912106602271562011-11-20T05:10:47.678-05:002011-11-20T05:10:47.678-05:00Hi and welcome, Nancy! Thank you for reading, for ...Hi and welcome, <b>Nancy</b>! Thank you for reading, for your enthusiasm and your kind words.Ruthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14204074161539605133noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21312708.post-10328274524689134582011-11-20T05:09:14.100-05:002011-11-20T05:09:14.100-05:00Peter, thank you for reading the tree and for your...<b>Peter</b>, thank you for reading the tree and for your kindness.Ruthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14204074161539605133noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21312708.post-20785229057495344012011-11-20T05:08:50.438-05:002011-11-20T05:08:50.438-05:00Mary, thank you for reading my tree, and seeing a ...<b>Mary</b>, thank you for reading my tree, and seeing a womb and birth canal. I did not intend it, but I can see it too!Ruthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14204074161539605133noreply@blogger.com